We won’t (and should not try to) fit into a box!

I find myself pondering life, love and the Universe a lot lately.

In these ponderings I have come to see we try to fit everything into a box (sometimes not consciously – mostly not consciously).

Despite the fact that this box looks pretty fun!

Boxes (with the exception of play things) make life way more rigid than is fun.

We try to ‘box’ our kids – expectations on when they should learn to walk, talk, read etc etc.

We ‘box’ our jobs – that is / is not my role / task… you get the picture!

We ‘box’ our relationships.

We ‘box’ our bodies.

All the ‘shoulds’ we walk around with, they seem to be trying to squash us into a ‘box’.

What if we could let it go.

Trust that things will work out as they need too.

I have four kids – one spoke sentences at 18 months, one was completely unintelligible at 3 years and one stuttered nearly every word for 6 months.

One was toilet trained at 18 months and one at 3 years..

But I promise you in the moment I was worried about something… some ‘box’ that they did not fit into!

Rather than just embracing their perfect little selves… no box required.

See, as a parent I think we forget our role is to guide these humans who are our best teachers to become kind, contributing adults. So they can move out of home and we can downsize so there is less to clean!

The clinician in me wants to call this ‘functional’… so they can function and contribute and have meaningful lives… here’s the catch – whatever that means for them!! Whatever that means for their families when they are little. Perhaps even the community they are part of.

What is ‘functional’ for one family will be different for another. That is not just ok, it is totally wonderful. It is what makes life beautiful.

Not what I think… not what society thinks and most definitely not what social media thinks…

What if there was no ‘normal’ (aka ‘box’) but that all of life was a continuum. We kind of slide up and down the continuum depending on the day / week / month / year.

As parents it is nice to be informed. I have needed to get educated on a list of labels that feels a mile long.

But I do not see them as a ‘box’.. I see them as suggestions. Someone else’s perspective. Mine to choose to accept or to let fall away.

So how about we stop trying to box:

  • ourselves
  • our kids
  • our families
  • our work

If we know what we value… lean into that… lead with that.

Lead with love.

Show up with kindness.

Seek information to support our needs and interests.

But no more ‘boxes’… just acceptance of where we are at with a plan to how to get to where we want to go.

One baby step at a time.

If I can help you understand where you toddler is at on the continuum of language learning then I am here to help!

If you are looking for online speech therapy to help you to support your toddlers talking, then my Toddler Talk Kit might be just the thing. You will find it here.

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